I got the email about the title, and went out. Signed the contract agreement, picked the thing up. Walked to the courthouse, asked what else I needed. Walked back down the three blocks to the bank where my car was to get my wallet and ID.
I should mention here that it's snowing and blowing, so just imagine me after I've been attacked by bags of powdered sugar. Felt good, brisk.
Got the documents, got the title. Got the fucking title. My god, I've got the fucking title. It's really over, she can't threaten me anymore.
Then I went to the other bank and checked my balance. $5,566.55. the symmetry wasn't lost on me. The fuck. I got more out of the 401k payout than I expected. It's probably closer to $4k no, since I paid the last month of bills, but it feels good to have money, to feel secure. In about an hour, I'm gonna go to Sam's and give her and her girls some peanut butter chocolate treats my mom made, because I like to share.
I... I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be alone tonight, ringing in the new year with a movie or something. It's been... you know, I'm not sure I've ever rung in the new year by kissing someone I was honestly in love with at midnight. I rang in 2000 with a six pack in the back of a gas station with a crank addict. Everything since then was Misty, and you know how I feel about her. But part of this year is supposed to be about learning to be alone, my own person, not leaning and not letting anyone lean. If that's how it happens, it'll be appropriate.
But between you and me, if I'm invited to ring in the new year with Sam and her family, there's no way in fuck I'll turn it down. I'll pay a thousand dollars to stay there, and suddenly, I can do that.
There are many things that are important in this life. Some more than others. Some are assigned more meaning than others. I'm pretty sure I can be aware of my desires and needs at the same time. These days anyway, and being able to provide for my own needs helps a lot.
. . .
Okay, reality check. Gotta do this at times. I've got enough money to keep myself, without frivilous spending, in the house for three months. This is not how we want to spend that money. Day after tomorrow is the day after New Year's. It's the new year, and we're focusing on making this new year actually New. New house, new life, new girlfriend, and yes, new job. We'll have to go out and make that happen, get some money coming in and keep things going. No more being lazy, just working. Then staying up late enough to see Sam. hehe. Heh. I've got enough for groceries, to buy food that's healthy. I've got enough to pay for cable on the nights that I'm bored. I'm able to do what I need to do, buy new boots, get gas, go to interviews, whatever. I can do this. I can make a new life for myself, without that girl dictating how it goes. I can do this.
That'll do. If you want to wish me a happy new year, the phone number's on my info page. I'll likely post if it looks like I'll actually be alone tonight. If I don't, possibly the Good Luck Fairy has smiled at me again. Not like she hasn't done that before.