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Off with a bang? - Mine is Quite Big Enough
December 31st, 2007
01:38 pm
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Off with a bang?
I got the email about the title, and went out. Signed the contract agreement, picked the thing up. Walked to the courthouse, asked what else I needed. Walked back down the three blocks to the bank where my car was to get my wallet and ID.

I should mention here that it's snowing and blowing, so just imagine me after I've been attacked by bags of powdered sugar. Felt good, brisk.

Got the documents, got the title. Got the fucking title. My god, I've got the fucking title. It's really over, she can't threaten me anymore.

Then I went to the other bank and checked my balance. $5,566.55. the symmetry wasn't lost on me. The fuck. I got more out of the 401k payout than I expected. It's probably closer to $4k no, since I paid the last month of bills, but it feels good to have money, to feel secure. In about an hour, I'm gonna go to Sam's and give her and her girls some peanut butter chocolate treats my mom made, because I like to share.

I... I'm pretty sure I'm gonna be alone tonight, ringing in the new year with a movie or something. It's been... you know, I'm not sure I've ever rung in the new year by kissing someone I was honestly in love with at midnight. I rang in 2000 with a six pack in the back of a gas station with a crank addict. Everything since then was Misty, and you know how I feel about her. But part of this year is supposed to be about learning to be alone, my own person, not leaning and not letting anyone lean. If that's how it happens, it'll be appropriate.

But between you and me, if I'm invited to ring in the new year with Sam and her family, there's no way in fuck I'll turn it down. I'll pay a thousand dollars to stay there, and suddenly, I can do that.

There are many things that are important in this life. Some more than others. Some are assigned more meaning than others. I'm pretty sure I can be aware of my desires and needs at the same time. These days anyway, and being able to provide for my own needs helps a lot.

. . .

Okay, reality check. Gotta do this at times. I've got enough money to keep myself, without frivilous spending, in the house for three months. This is not how we want to spend that money. Day after tomorrow is the day after New Year's. It's the new year, and we're focusing on making this new year actually New. New house, new life, new girlfriend, and yes, new job. We'll have to go out and make that happen, get some money coming in and keep things going. No more being lazy, just working. Then staying up late enough to see Sam. hehe. Heh. I've got enough for groceries, to buy food that's healthy. I've got enough to pay for cable on the nights that I'm bored. I'm able to do what I need to do, buy new boots, get gas, go to interviews, whatever. I can do this. I can make a new life for myself, without that girl dictating how it goes. I can do this.

That'll do. If you want to wish me a happy new year, the phone number's on my info page. I'll likely post if it looks like I'll actually be alone tonight. If I don't, possibly the Good Luck Fairy has smiled at me again. Not like she hasn't done that before.

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From:erosexiles
Date:December 31st, 2007 11:37 pm (UTC)
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Congrats on the title!
Let's hope we all have nice calm loving 2008's.
And a big fuck you to 2007, on it's way out.
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From:good_benito
Date:January 4th, 2008 02:13 am (UTC)
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Yes, 2007 can suck a dick. In my 30s now, and I feel like this decade is going to have things worth celebrating. At least this year is, it's getting off to a good start.

God Damn do I like being in love.
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From:absurdhero
Date:January 1st, 2008 04:01 am (UTC)

HELL yeah.

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Sounds like a fantastic way to end the year.
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From:good_benito
Date:January 4th, 2008 02:14 am (UTC)

Re: HELL yeah.

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And a perfect way to start the new one!
From:conducts
Date:January 1st, 2008 05:56 am (UTC)

lost painting

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Okay, couldn't read the whole entire entry since champagne is amaking me lookpy..
Dam.
Can't type either. The backspace key is going to break at his rate.

sigh.
Anyway. I rang in the new year of 2000 by jumpin gout of a hot tub in the Wyoming countryside.. one of those rich kids' fathers had a cabin out in the middle of nowhere... anyway, jumping out of a hot tub and doing snow angels while the fresh snow was still falling. Only about an inch on the ground. Naked. Yeah. That was the brushing off of Burt williams (he had a "girlfriend" i guess) and the brushing off of N8, because he shattered my heart earlier that day.. millions of pieces.

New Year's hasn't been the same sinc that, but I can't say that it's a bad thing...

Congrats, Matt. Big huggsssss J(that's how all the hip gals write it these days...)
From:conducts
Date:January 1st, 2008 06:00 am (UTC)

Re: lost painting

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That is... 99- 2000 new year. My mind is trying to rectify just when you meant that.


heh.
A half a bottle of this... half a bottle of that...
Hair looks good.

Okay, I'm making an ass of myself.
Cheerio!
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From:good_benito
Date:January 4th, 2008 02:28 am (UTC)

Re: lost painting

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Hey now. Your hair always looks good.
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From:good_benito
Date:January 4th, 2008 02:27 am (UTC)

Re: lost painting

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I miss champagne. We had some of it that night, too. It was cited as one of the reasons I got fired. So worth it. Gas station job? the fuck evar...

I've never had much luck with New Years. they're usually silly, laconic, lackluster, just boring, sleepy... Not big celebrations. Being able to kiss Sam on the cheek when she gave me the hug in front of her mom when the ball went down, felt righter than most years.

Funny, you were brushing off N8, and I'm brushing off my little problem. The new beginnings thing seems to be appropriate.
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From:extra_minty
Date:January 2nd, 2008 12:04 am (UTC)
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Congrats and a happy new year. :)
Sounds like you're finally in a good place, I'm happy for you.
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From:good_benito
Date:January 4th, 2008 02:24 am (UTC)
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And I'm happy for you. You know how long I've been waiting to be as happy as you are?

Yeah. We're thinking that if we're still happy on Father's Day, we'll think about getting more... serious...

Yeah, that means exactly what you think.

Damn, does this feel good.
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From:flameswithin
Date:January 7th, 2008 02:51 pm (UTC)
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:)

Happy New Year, Matt :)
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From:good_benito
Date:February 25th, 2008 09:18 am (UTC)
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Happy New Year, Phil.

Shall we keep on truckin'?
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From:flameswithin
Date:February 25th, 2008 03:15 pm (UTC)
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Let's.
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